Weds 2nd October 2019
Today was a day 'off'. Anyone who runs a business knows there are no such things... so today was actually a day of catching up on admin and taking the Smallest Small Person shopping to buy her a new school uniform, because last week I pulled her out of school.
Living rurally has so many benefits, one of which I believed was my children going to a little tiny primary school. It worked well for the two older Small People but for some reason, not my daughter. I guess when there is a smaller pool of children to be friends with, the harder it is to find someone that 'gets' you. She's quite a unique child. She's singleminded, determined and bossy (I don't know where she gets it from... 😜 ) and she has a very individual personality. She's the girl that went to nursery school in a tutu, wellies and bobble hat. She's the girl that wears the brightest colours you've ever seen. She's the girl who takes charge of the room. She's the girl that aces every test she takes. She's also, it would seem, the girl that struggles to make friends.
We tell our children, all the time, to be themselves and not change for anyone. But what happens when that person can't find someone that loves them and wants to be their friend?
We tried to keep her in school, but she changed so much to try and be the person she thought they wanted her to be. She came home every single day in tears, asking if she was ugly and/or fat. And wondering why she had no friends.
Today she was given a place at a different school, starting tomorrow.
She has put a little pebble in her bag, painted with the words 'Be Yourself', which she's going to hold onto when she is worried.
As parents we have to make them feel secure in who they are. I found myself encouraging her to change to fit in... and I could kick myself. She needs to be herself and there will be someone out there who wants to be her friend. Hopefully she'll find them tomorrow.